Why I Refuse to Sleep

I don’t like sleeping. To be completely honest, if I could, I would skip all of it and never sleep. Ever. As a growing teen needing at least 8+ hours of sleep a night, it’s just horrible. I certainly don’t get more than 4 hours unless it’s a weekend. I usually go for maybe 2 or 3 hours. Often I sleep with only 2 or 1. It’s not bad, I swear.

First of all, why does our body need sleep? I don’t get it. Okay it’s a time for your body to shut down and rejuvenate itself but what’s the difference between chilling in bed and sleeping. Is not being conscious that much of a difference? I mean, I’m sure there’s scientific reason to it, but why can’t I multitask dammit?

Again, sleeping is such a waste of time. Honestly. In those 2-10 hours you sleep, you could be doing so much! There’s so much to do in life and if you spend half of your day, everyday, sleeping, what will you accomplish? I’d rather get what I need to do done and then take a nap later. Who needs sleeep anyways? Psh.

The truest reason of all though is I have nightmares. I’m scared of sleeping, I know. What am I? 5? Probably actually. I have crazy dreams when I do sleep. Maybe because I’m sleep deprived, maybe because my imagination is active, maybe because I have chocolate before bed – I don’t know. I just know that when I sleep, my mind explores depths that I don’t wish to see. A lot of times, I can’t wake myself up either. Last night I dreamed of a pool party on a rooftop with my parents and 2 other girls (I don’t remember who?). I dreamed of how I slipped and got in trouble (I’m not sure why…) and my parents were scolding me and I ran to my dad crying. I was crying in his arms when all of a sudden he disappeared and thoughts came flooding in like hey don’t you remember he’s dead? God, they’re horrible. Another time I had a dream that my family (extended included) went on a hike around this canyon ledge thing. And in the middle of it, my dad jumped off the cliff and into the ocean. I jumped off to save him (I’m the only good swimmer in the fambam) and his body was floating into darkness. I started to drown because I wanted to save him and go deeper but I was also running out of air.

My nightmares are crazy. I either dream of something horrible or I dream of ponies prancing through cotton candy fields in Harvard Yard with Abraham Lincoln having tea and tiramisu with my friend Toska. I don’t really know. I’ve lost all my marbles. But no matter how well I sleep (I slept regularly over summer), I get horrible nightmares. So I just don’t.

It’s 5am now and I’ve just finished all my work. I’m debating sleeping for 2 hours or just staying up and then going to school. Is it even worth it to nap at this point? Solid questions that I’ll never have the answers to.

-PN

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