I think my bully may have one this battle.
I’m not going to talk back. I’m not going to bother batting an eyelash at anything they say. I won’t stand up for myself. I won’t tell he(r) that (s)he is wrong. I won’t say anything. Why bother? It’s not like (s)he’ll understand. (S)he’s stubborn and powered by hate. Why bother with ignorance?
Maybe my bully has won the war.
I don’t feel it’s necessary to check any of this over or think of it again; he(r) ignorance may be her/his bliss… If only this person knew how stupid they are. Goodness, if only they knew.
My english teacher said that “Hurt people hurt people.” It’s called a zeugma I believe. I really like that. Hurt people hurt people. Maybe this person is hurt too. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe someone else made them feel inferior so they feel the need to make me feel so too. I’m not resentful. I’m surprisingly calm. Well, no, not calm. I’m torn up inside and constantly lingering on how horrible must I be to inflict this upon myself. But I realize, no one brings bullying upon themselves. No one wants to be bullied. Bullies seem to just appear and we, for some odd reason, must remain calm and composed. Logical that, no these bullies may not hurt us. No these bullies may not touch us. Because hurt people hurt people.
I sound so righteous and horrible. There are plenty of reasons to hate me, don’t get me wrong. But whatever I did or didn’t do that provoked this person to permanently embed their insults onto my brain….whatever it was or wasn’t, I’m sure there must have been a reason greater than I want to know.
For now, I’ll stay silent. Because lashing out and standing up for myself – thought I know it’s the right thing – is simply too much.