Back to Square 1

I should have never sprung for adventure. Before I could even make any distance, I’m back at the starting line.

My friends thought that you know, things work out in the end. No matter what happens, the universe has reason. Reasons, huh?

I just don’t know. I spent about an hour or two on Skype with a friend after trying to move on and just get my mind off of things. Yet here I am: unable to sleep and unable to think at 1am. Spotify is also playing all the right (but such wrong) songs right now.

I have chest pains. But these aren’t sharp pains like before. These are dull pains, full of sighing. It’s like every sigh brings a new thought. There are a million things running through my head. A million scenarios. A million questions. A million pieces.

Warning, I’m about to relate this back to mosaoc souls because everything relates back to that. I have this beautiful piece of glass. A piece that’s been molded and made to fit and just works so well in my overall mosaic. But now the sight of it makes me so, well for lack of words, emotional. It makes me happy and angry and questioning and doubtful and silly and so many things  come from this mosaic. So what do I do? Scratch it? Absorb it? Break it into pieces until it’s unrecognizable? I don’t know. I don’t want to make a decision and regret it.

Regardless of what happens, I’m leaving tomorrow for Vietnam for 7 weeks. If only you guys knew the irony in that. Leaving to escape. The irony, I swear.

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2 thoughts on “Back to Square 1

    1. Thank you! It’s been a few days and I’m feeling better, but I do catch myself reminiscing on “what could have been”. Thank goodness I have so many little cousins to keep me occupied.

      Liked by 1 person

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