You are a puzzle piece!

So I got rejected from Stanford Class of 2020. This school has been my motivation and goal since my People to People summit in 2013. I’ve been proudly wearing a red sweatshirt on the East Coast in a crowd of crimson/maroon and red/black. Yet, life is a journey and here I am, now wearing white again.

Friday night, I had a few friends on standby to either congratulate or soothe me at 7:01 pm. When I refreshed my application page and saw the coveted (jokes) rejection letter that I had already read tens of times on CollegeBoard forums, I just kind of awkwardly laughed and saidĀ hey I got rejected. As if I was relieved to be rejected and Stanford had confirmed my not good enough application, but also terrified for the future I no longer was sure of.

Being rejected was oddly very peaceful. That night I took a trip with my friend (you know who you are) and we vented, cried, and debriefed all of our emotions. I woke up the next morning with a headache (dehydrated from crying?) and very serene feelings. I wasn’t upset anymore, I wasn’t disappointed, I was just ready to move on.

The worst part I might add, is letting those you love know you got rejected. I confided this in a friend, and he reassured me that everyone is still proud of me. I had so many people look into my application, revise my essay, conduct mock interviews, and just you know, help me out with this whole process. If you were one of those people, thank you so much. I am so grateful for your time and efforts. I am even more grateful for all of you believing in me.

I didn’t originally plan on apply to Stanford, the fear of rejection kept me at bay. With urge from a friend, I took a leap of faith, borrowing his confidence to fill out this application. As the process went on, I realized that everyone around me had confidence that I was qualified enough to apply and maybe get in. I guess only one of those turned out to be true, but I am still grateful. Thank you for letting me borrow your confidence and hope, it means the world to me.

The next thing to address in rejection is askingĀ what’s next? Well, the logical thing to do would be to become a hermit and wither away in sadness. I tried this (add lots of ice cream into the situation) and realized I’ve never been a logical person to begin with. So I might as well move on and send in all of my other college applications and just play the waiting game again.

From my understanding, Stanford’s Class of 2020 is handpicked to create a diversified population of students with complimentary skill sets to motivate, challenge, and support each other. They have to pick 2,000-something puzzle pieces and build a bigger picture. I just happened to be a puzzle piece that didn’t fit and you know, that’s okay. I’m part of a bigger picture somewhere else and regardless of where I end up, life keeps going.
Rejection. It really opens up your eyes.

(Stanford didn’t get rid of me so easily though, I’ll still be trying again in the future. xo)

 

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